Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
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