turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
