just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How does one acquire holy water?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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