from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize