Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
