i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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