He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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