It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think I died a long time ago.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
