Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
