My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
