Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize