watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
