Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
