North Korea, Best Korea!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
