That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
