I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize