dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
