I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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