she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
