If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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