She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
