So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
