In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize