I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
