Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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