Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize