We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
