but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
