hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
