Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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