i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
