I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Randomize
