these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
