wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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