Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
