barbara walters just said penis...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I am midnight drunk by noon
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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