Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
