I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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