It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
