sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
