I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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