i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
