shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
