We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize