I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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