paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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