I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Randomize
