Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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