I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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