you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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