It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
