Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
