Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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